News Alert: Your Kids Are Not the Center of the Universe

As our kids were growing up, Susan and I always made it a point to schedule date nights together. One night, as Susan and I got ready to go out the door for an evening together, my daughter said, “No, Mom! I want you to stay here.” Instead of agreeing, Susan turned and said, “No honey. Tonight is my night to go out with Daddy.” This was such a simple remark from my wife, but I haven’t been able to forget it. It was encouraging to watch Susan protect our time together.

Many parents make their marriage a top priority. Many parents don’t. Instead, they do everything for their kids to the detriment of their marriage. They help them with things they should do on their own, take them everywhere they want to go, and buy them everything they want. Ultimately, they make their kids think they are the center of the universe. Here are 3 things that will happen when you let your kids think they are the center of the universe:

1. Your Marriage Will Suffer.

When you pour everything you’ve got—your time, energy, and affections— into the life of your child, you have nothing but leftovers to give to your spouse. It’s so important to invest in your marriage. No matter how many different directions your kids pull you in, your kids will be served best when they see that their parents spend time with and care for one another.

2. Your Child Will Suffer.

When you treat your child like they are the center of the universe, they will begin to think they are the center of the universe. As a result, they’ll become self-absorbed, develop an entitlement mind-set, and have a demanding attitude.

It creates a false sense of reality for your child. They’ll experience a rude awakening as they venture into the real world on their own. And when life is all about them, they won’t experience the joy of loving and helping others.

The Secret to Raising Selfless Kids may help you in parenting your children.

3. Your Child’s Relationships Will Suffer.

Finally, when your child believes they are the center of the universe, they will treat others with disdain and contempt. They will be selfish in their friendships, prideful in group accomplishments, and needy in their future marriage. Avoid letting your child’s relationships suffer by demonstrating and teaching them what it means to be kind, considerate, and compassionate.

What do you need to start doing differently to ensure that your children don’t think they are the center of the universe? Leave a comment.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Terry

    I’ll just do my best prayerfully and ask the Lord to help me, my wife and the kids.

  • Terry, good to hear.

  • bitsofsweetness

    Great post! What happens when you have the complete opposite problem though and it’s too little time spent with them? This day and age it’s sad to see electronics being treated as family members and replacing time with them for the reason of it being “too much” and the kids getting dependant on the time spent with them. It’s a struggle in our house.

  • RC

    How do I pass this along to my ex-wife without causing a war? I believe a main cause of my divorce was from not taking time together. I am now getting remarried and blending a family. I am worried how my daughter will do once she has to start sharing her time with me when we become a bigger family, but is still an only child when with her mom.

  • Daphne

    Great post! Last week my husband and I were talking about going on a date the next night. Our three year old chimed in and said, “No, you can’t go on dates! I have to come too!” My response was similar to your wife’s and told our little one that we needed to spend time together so we keep loving each other. He’ll get it someday. So far, our two boys seem like they are well rounded an not spoiled.

  • Daphne, way to go!

  • Joey

    Great post! I just read it to my husband as well. Thank you for the reminder 🙂

  • You’re welcome Joey. Thanks for reading and sharing!

  • MM

    My kids are now teens and all these years my husband has insisted we do everything as a family, even when they were little and I desperately needed a break. Everything you say here is true because I’m living with the consequences. On the rare occasions I’ve ventured out with friends, my spouse has actually told my kids, “Look, she’d rather be with her friends than us.”

  • Keith

    Boy, I’ve seen this firsthand. It’s hard for a parent to say these things out loud to another parent because it seems to come off as absurd and impossible. But, it can be very damaging to a marriage.

  • Joe Hoffman

    3 years after my divorce and I read this and think, probably something I needed to know 10 years ago. I didn’t want to go on our 15 yr anniversary trip without the kids. Oh well, live and learn. Since the divorce I have a better relationship with God and that’s a pretty good trade.

  • Did you share the blog with your husband? What consequences are you dealing with MM?

  • ? Steven Burda, MBA

    Love this article…

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