No parent is perfect. And every child will get angry at some point. But if you consistently have an angry child, there may be a few ways you, as the parent, aren’t helping the situation.
Here are 9 ways you may be making your child angry.
1. Always lecture and never listen.
Don’t think about what they are thinking or feeling; just think about what you want to say to your child and let it rip. When your child tries to respond, cut him off. And don’t try these 7 C’s for Communicating with Your Teen.
2. Discipline when you’re angry.
Be as harsh as you can and yell as loud as you can. When you’re in public, humiliate and degrade them by punishing them in front of other people.
3. Use words that tear down.
Sarcastic words, unsupportive words, and disrespectful words will do this. Comparing words like, “Why can’t you be more like your brother” arouse incredible anger as will condescending words like, “Can’t you do anything right?!”
4. Show favoritism.
When your son receives discipline for something, don’t discipline your daughter when she does the same thing. Spend a lot of time with one child but not the other.
5. Don’t create boundaries with rules and consequences.
Don’t act like a parent, just be a pal. If he does something wrong, just ask him not to do it again. Give him everything he wants and do everything for him.
6. Create really tight boundaries with hard rules and overbearing consequences.
Watch your child’s every move and try to catch him doing something wrong. Be overprotective too.
7. Make sure there is a lot of pressure to perform.
He has to understand that it’s a dog eat dog world out there. To go to the best college, he’s got to make all A’s. If he’s going to play baseball, he better be in the starting lineup. If he doesn’t make the grade, let him know of your disappointment. When he does succeed, don’t praise him too much; just establish a new goal for him.
8. Don’t spend time together.
Let your child know that your work is important and you’re making good money so that you can provide for the family and can continue to give him all of those nice things he’s been getting from you.
9. Show love only when it’s earned.
If your child’s not being nice, if she doesn’t do something well, if she isn’t obeying you, then don’t tuck her in bed, don’t hug her, and don’t tell her you love her. Send her a clear message that your love will be given, or withheld, based on how she is behaving.
There are times that we all miss the mark as parents. Share which of these areas is toughest for you in the comments below.
