There are things that Susan and I argued about in our first year of marriage that still make unwelcome guest appearances in our relationship, even after 22 years of holy matrimony. We call these same old marriage fights “scripts.” Just like a written script that an actor memorizes and repeats in a movie scene, these are issues that are embedded into our minds and repeat themselves over and over again in our relationship. But unlike a movie, we can’t just write each other out of the scene.
One script that we’ve dealt with for much of our married life is my critical spirit toward Susan. While I haven’t completely mastered this and have to continue to work on it, I can tell you that it’s a script that now plays a much smaller role in our relationship.
So, how do we do it? Well, Susan and I use what I call the R.E.S.T method for dealing with scripts.
Click on the picture of the worksheet to the left to download a version that you and your spouse can use at home.
Do you have scripts in your marriage that you’d like to write out of your marital scene? Share what you’ve done to flip your own marriage scripts.