The last time you and your spouse had a joint decision to make – buy a new car, let your child play a certain sport, or where to go for dinner – how did it go? Was it a pleasant conversation of give and take or did your spouse look at you and roll their eyes? Learning to respect your spouse’s decisions can be a process – especially when filtered through your own personal life experiences.
So, what can you do to make your next decision-making experience more productive and enjoyable? Here are some steps to take:
1. Love Your Spouse:
Without genuine, selfless, unconditional love, nothing will succeed, especially in marriage.
2. Respect Your Spouse’s Opinion:
Discuss the situation in detail and take turns listening to each other’s suggestions. [The speaker-listener technique can be a helpful tool.] Marriage is a collaborative relationship, not a dictatorship.
3. Be Consistent:
When your decisions are grounded in truth and humility, you will have a solid reputation that your spouse can rely on. If you make a mistake in judgment, do three things: admit the mistake, apologize to your spouse, and advance to the next decision.
4. Be Transparent:
Be an open book. If your spouse knows that you are honest about everything—from where you go after work to how much money you spend, then they can trust you to present all the facts, not just your view, in order to make an informed decision.
5. Be Trustworthy:
Respect is rooted in trust. If you trust someone’s character, respect should follow. However, if you doubt that they are who they appear to be or they act in a manner contrary to their character on a consistent basis, respect can be hard to achieve.
When it comes to decision-making in your household, do you respect your spouse’s judgment? What could they do to earn your trust and respect? Please share your thoughts with me.
