I receive a lot of unsolicited books at my office and am not able to read most of them. However, one day I received one of those books from a guy named Todd Gongwer.  For some reason, even though it was in the middle of my work day, I didn’t set the book aside but picked it up and started reading the first chapter. Then, I continued with the second chapter and the third.  Although it was tough to close, I decided I better finish it at home.  In just two evenings at home, I finished the book. There are two ways I know that a book is good.  When I read it quickly and when I do a lot of underlining and highlighting. I did both with Lead for God’s Sake.

Right after I read the book, I called Todd and expressed my gratitude to him for writing such an amazing work on leadership and life. I shared with him how Lead for God’s Sake is one of the best books on leadership that I’ve read in many years.

This is one of those books that will impact your life in some way.  Written as a modern day parable that anyone can relate to, you’ll find yourself identifying with one or more of the characters.

The book challenges us to answer meaningful questions like: Why do I do what I do?  That is, what’s my purpose?  And how everything else in our lives flows from how we answer that one question. Once you know why you were created, then you can align everything else in your life with that purpose.

There are some real surprises, twists and turns in the book that I can’t share with you. You’ll just have to get the book for yourself!

When a dream dies, when the thing you’ve wanted for so long is gone, there is a real sense of loss. And you can’t just plug in any dream in place of the old one.  What you can do is learn how to dream again by grieving, growing and grabbing.

Allow yourself to grieve.

It’s okay to feel badly about your loss.  It’s okay to let yourself experience the full range of your emotions as they relate to your dream.  Give yourself some time to work through the stages of your grief.  But most importantly, don’t let yourself indulge in self-pity.  The sooner you are in a place to accept your new situation, the sooner you’re ready to embrace a new dream.

Allow yourself to grow.

Sometimes focusing on one dream in life gives us a sense of permission to ignore other dreams that come along.  Give yourself permission to try new things, to experience new hopes.  Embrace the challenges and grow in ways that are different from the old dream.  Flex your dream muscles and find some new strength.

Allow yourself to grab hold of the next dream.

Your dream was a part of you.  Now that it’s gone, liking another dream might feel a bit like cheating.  The last step to healing is to allow your heart and mind to embrace the next vision for your life.  You may not have the life that you dreamed of, but if you spend all of your time focusing on what you’ve lost, you’ll never see what you can have.  The death of a dream doesn’t have to be the end of your hopes…it could be the beginning of an even better dream.

Have you lost a dream? Are you ready to dream again?

The Triple Crown of Thoroughbred Racing consists of three races. In the United States, the races that compose the Triple Crown are: Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes and Belmont Stakes—these are the most important races that a horse needs to win on the track.

There’s an even more important triple crown that you and I need to win in the race of life. It’s the three most important decisions you’ll make, and that your children will make. Those decisions are made by answering these three questions: “Who is your master? What will be your mission? Who will be your mate?”

Master.

Knowing your master is of ultimate importance. It is literally a life or death decision.  It is the foundation for your life and everything you do in your life, including your mission and mate.

Mission.

Your mission is your purpose in life. Your purpose provides the basis from which to define ultimate success.  Everything must align with your purpose in life. When you embrace your God-given purpose in life instead of getting caught up in the race toward fame, fortune, power, or pleasure, then you will feel a sense of freedom and satisfaction that no amount of money can buy.  You’ll want to shout out, this is me!

Mate.

This is the person with whom you will become “one flesh.”  The person you promise to live the rest of your life with… “for richer or poorer; for better or worse.” So before you tie the knot, make sure that you both agree upon and share the most important things…knowing your Master and your Mission. And read these 7 Truths about Marriage.

Who is your Master? What is your Mission? Who will be your mate? Please share your thoughts with me. After you answer these questions for yourself, make sure your children answer them at the appropriate time as well.

You have great natural resources, sometimes also called strengths, which you can T.A.P. into. You’ve probably had these gifts most, or all, of your life. You just didn’t know it, and you don’t know how to tap into them.  Here’s how you can identify and put your natural resource to work.

T—stands for Take. Take a personal inventory of your strengths and write them down.  To identify your strengths, it may help to take a look back to your younger years.  Has anyone ever communicated your strengths and potential so clearly to you that it profoundly influenced your life—that it helped define who you are today?  Think back.  Maybe it was your 4^th grade teacher, maybe your high school coach, maybe your best friend, maybe your mom or dad.  Someone saw your potential, your unique strengths.  They may have told you, “You have a beautiful voice,” and now you’re a singer.  They told you, “You’re good with kids,” and now you’re a teacher.  “You have an awesome mechanical mind,” someone said, and you became an engineer. You heard from someone, “You really care about people when they are sick,” and now you’re a nurse.  Their loving words of affirmation inspired you to become what you are today. So, start your personal inventory by looking back.

A—stands for Ask. Perhaps you never had a dad, mom, teacher, coach or friend who communicated to you the great strengths and potential they saw in you. If that’s the case, here’s one easy way to find out what your strengths are. Just ask five family members or friends, “In one or two words, what do you think is my single, greatest strength?”  While there might be one or two different answers, the majority will probably agree.  And when they tell you, it will not be a surprise.  They are just confirming something that you’ve probably known all along. You just needed someone to bring it to light and affirm it to you. Many years ago, Bob Biehl of Masterplanning Group International introduced me to this idea of identifying my greatest strength. He also challenged me, as he has done for countless others, to determine what it was. When I asked five friends and family members, I received several very similar answers.  I, however, boiled it down to one word: “catalyst.”  A catalyst is an agent who provokes change or gets things going.  At the same time, I also realized that one of my weaknesses was implicit in that strength.  I am not particularly skilled at managing people or things over the long haul.  So, if you want to launch a new product, program or event, I might be able to put together the strategy and field the team to do so. Just don’t let me manage it!

P—stands for Ponder. It’s important to know your strengths.  Not so that you can become self-serving, but so that you will know, in turn, how to help family members and other people understand their strengths. Ponder how you can be the person who affirms the strengths you see in your child or friend. My wife, Susan, and I are constantly talking to our children about the strengths we see in them and how they can use those strengths. A short note to your child, friend or co-worker can also be a good way to validate their gifts. Our Family First program for fathers, All Pro Dad, holds events with NFL teams at their stadiums across the country. One thing we do at these major gatherings of fathers and their children is have the men write a short letter to their child. In one part of the letter, we encourage them to describe and praise their son or daughter for their unique talents and strengths. This doesn’t have to be done in a football stadium.  You can write the letter in your office or at your kitchen table. Is it time for you to affirm your child in their strengths right now?

Coach Dungy is admired for many things, but time and time again people compliment him on his leadership and the way that he motivates people. More than being a leader, Tony has taken on the role of a mentor…developing long-lasting, personal relationships with the people that he encounters. Tony models his style of leadership after examples in his own life, and in this video interview, he tells us who he thinks is the ultimate Mentor Leader.

Look to your future…that’s your future!”  Natalia, the camp counselor, yelled, pointing to the stand at the end of the tight rope 30 feet in the air. Donna, the teenage camper, with tears streaming down her face, cried “I can’t…I can’t do it” as she struggled to place one foot in front of the other on this ropes course she had never experienced before. “Yes you can…you’re facing a challenge right now, but you can do it” Natalia shouted.  “When you go back home,” Natalia continued, “you’re going to face other challenges in school, with friends and at home, but you’ve got to keep your eye on the  goal…on the future.”

During my short visit here at Kids Across America camp for inner city kids outside of Branson, MO., that’s just one life-changing moment I’ve witnessed. Camp counselors like Natalia are teaching teens like Donna how to overcome their fears, how to trust others, how to trust God and how to establish a vision for their future…things that they’ve never even dreamed of doing before.  You see, many of these kids have never even been more than just a few blocks from their housing projects…never been cared for …never been loved.

I know that many of the 41 teens we brought on our 20 hour bus ride from Tampa’s urban areas, will come back with different minds, different hearts and hope for the future.  A big thanks to Gregg Bettis and his entire team at Kids Across America camp for the welcome mat they’ve placed out for kids like Donna. Oh, and by the way, Donna made it…with a beaming smile on her face!

Check out KidsAcrossAmerica.org.  Maybe you’ll even be prompted to sponsor a group of teens from your area to experience this wonderful place.

Mark

Do you think getting away is important? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Mark

After understanding how these great leaders continue to honor their fathers after all these years, my hope is my children will one day be able to do the same.

As fathers, we want to leave lasting legacies with our children; ones that that will encourage, guide, and impact our family even after we are gone.  Join me tomorrow to see how you can do just that.

- Mark

We may not know their names.  Some are shopkeepers or farmers or shoe salesmen.  Nothing these men did in their jobs made them famous.  But what they did as fathers changed the course of history.  This week, as we celebrate and honor our dads on Fathers’ Day, I am going to discuss some fathers of the famous, and the legacies they left behind.

George was a lawyer who lived with his family on a gently sloping plain next to the San Gabriel Mountains in California. Handsome and slim, he wore a floppy mustache. He was elected district attorney for Los Angeles County, but you will remember him more because of his son. His children, George, Jr. and Nita, adored him. He took them fishing and sailing, taught them how to ride a horse and shoot a rifle. “We spent hours in his lap,” recalled George, Jr., “listening as he read aloud.” The reading was particularly important because George, Jr. was dyslexic and had trouble reading.  But his father worked hard with him on his reading and helped to wipe away the tears that came from the cruel laughter that accompanied his mistakes in school. George, Jr. said his father taught him everything he knew, but especially the virtue of courage. A high compliment when you consider it came from General George S. Patton

So Dads, what virtues are you teaching your children?

Mark

P.S.:  Check back tomorrow to see how the quote, “Never do things just because other people do them.” helped shape another famous leader.