Are You and Your Spouse on the Same Team?

He’s having a blast with his buddies on the golf course; she’s back at home cleaning the house.  She’s out having fun with her friends; he’s back home mowing the yard.  “I’m always the bad guy,” she exclaims. “How come you get to go play with the kids and I’m the one who always gets stuck disciplining  them?” Or, he says, “You just got a new couch, so why can’t I spend a measly 100 bucks on some new fishing gear?”

Husbands and wives who aren’t careful can sometimes find themselves keeping a scorecard.  They keep track of who spends more, disciplines more,  does the dishes more, cleans more,  mows more and works more. If couples aren’t careful, they can become bitter and resent the other for not helping enough or for having more fun.  If not addressed, a husband and wife can even feel like enemies.

So, if you find yourself keeping score, what should you do?

First, remember this key point. You were designed to complete each other, not compete with each other. Marriage is the ultimate team sport and marriages only work well when husbands and wives remember that they’re on the same team.

Second, we know that love is not jealous or selfish. Love is all about giving. So, a loving wife knows when her husband needs support and she helps him.  She encourages her man. Here are 10 Things Husbands Want to Hear from their Wives.  A loving husband sacrifices and gives time to his wife when he senses she is overwhelmed.  He cherishes his woman and ensures her physical and emotional health.  He encourages her. Here are 10 Things Wives want to Hear from their Husbands.

Third,  as you go through your day ask yourself, “Is this a good decision not only for me, but also for my mate?” And, “Is this something that’s going to help our team or hurt it?” Teamwork in marriage requires a selfless, sacrificial and giving mindset.

What will you do today to remind your spouse that you’re on the same team?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • After a day or so of feeling ‘off team’ with my husband this is a welcome post, and I”ll be sharing it with him and following both sets of links. Thank you !

  • To let my wife know we are on the same team I often call on the way home to ask my wife what she has been working on with the kids so that I can come in and reenforce rather than undo her hard work.

    I loved the two links for “The Ten Things…”. I’m glad I found your site.  

  • SoVery

    15 days ’til the wedding… I needed to hear this! THANKS

  • So glad to hear that, Shanyn.

  • Congrats SoVery!

  • Good work Hank!

  • MJC

    I’m glad I ran into this site. I’m engaged n sharing this with my fiance will help us once we are married ….Thanks. u