A Critical Question for Every Man and Every Father

a critical question for every man and every father_thumb

 

At the age of nineteen during my freshman year at college, I decided I wanted to become a pilot, so I went for it.

When you train to be a pilot, you have to go through many hours of ground school and flight training. One thing you learn in flight school is that a critical responsibility of a pilot is to do a preflight inspection before he and his passengers board the vessel. He should check out the inside of the aircraft to make sure that all the instruments are working and inspect the outside of the plane, especially its integrity, to ensure that there are no cracks in the wings or fuselage. Even a minor breach can spell disaster once the plane is in the air.

Integrity

Likewise, a father must ensure that he is living a life of integrity as he carries his children on the journey. To compromise, even in the slightest, could be devastating for a child. Integrity is what you do when no one else is looking.

A Breach of Integrity

Dark secrets in your life can cause a dangerous breach in your fatherhood fuselage and keep you from growing as a leader in your home. Addictions—sexual, pornographic, gambling, drugs, alcohol—are primary culprits that will keep you from being the dad you want to be.

When something unhealthy or wrong tempts your heart, you must guard your heart against that temptation. Succumbing to temptation, simply put, is caving in to something because it will, at least temporarily, satisfy you. All of us are tempted. The question is what we are going to do with that temptation that constantly sneaks its way into our lives. A proverb says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” When temptation calls our name and seduces us, rarely do we take a step back, look at it logically, and say, “Okay, I see this thing that is tempting me. Sure, it is exciting, it’s fun, and will make me feel so good. But I’m not going to go there because it not only will hurt me in the long run, but it will deeply wound my wife and my children.” So, how then can we guard our hearts against being taken on down the wrong runway toward an affair, gambling, greed, workaholism, or pornography?

Be Open for Inspection

One place to start is to be “open for inspection” at any time and at any place. Here are a few personal examples.

  • My wife, Susan, knows my computer password and can access it any time to see what I am reading and looking at. She can also see my calendar at any time.
  • Susan and my kids can also pick up my smartphone any time to read my texts and emails and check out what kind of music I’m listening to.
  • Susan has complete access to our financial accounts and can see where the money goes.
  • My trusted assistant of over 20 years knows exactly where I’m at and who I’m with most of the time and helps keep me on track.
  • A couple of my friends also know they have the freedom to probe into my life to ensure that I stay on course.

 

I am fearful of messing things up. I’m just one decision away from doing something really stupid and giving up a lifetime relationship with my wife and kids for a moment of pleasure.

Being open for inspection is critical. So, the critical question for you is: Are you open for inspection any time and at any place?

Portions of this blog came from my book, All Pro Dad: Seven Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • http://ReWritingDad.com/ Chad Miller

    Recognized the excerpts right away! 
    Every father should read All Pro Dad. Challenging, encouraging, and inspiring to change the negative image of a generation of Fathers who have been absent; mentally or physically.
    To answer your question, Yes, I’m open for inspection… in fact, I sometimes have to ask my wife to remind me what my passwords are.

  • Ron

    In the words of Oswald Chambers:

    Have we come to realize that our “body is the temple of the Holy Spirit”? If so, we must be careful to keep it undefiled for Him. We have to remember that our conscious life, even though only a small part of our total person, is to be regarded by us as a “temple of the Holy Spirit.”

  • http://RaisingWomen.com/ James Dibben

    Maybe I haven’t had enough coffee today. I can’t seem to figure out how to make my purchase from the page.

    http://www.markmerrill.com/all-pro-dad-go-go-bogo/

  • http://www.MarkMerrill.com/ Mark Merrill

    Hey Chad, thanks for your encouragement. That’s great that you are open for inspection in your marriage. 

  • http://www.MarkMerrill.com/ Mark Merrill

    Ron, Oswald Chambers is awesome. I often read “My Utmost for His Highest.”

  • Cfred25

    I like your comments Mark. Unfortunately, my wife uses them as weapons against me.

  • http://www.MarkMerrill.com/ Mark Merrill

    Ouch. Sorry to hear that. Will she listen to your thoughts?

  • http://www.MarkMerrill.com/ Mark Merrill

    James, there’s a link near the top of the page that says “Buy the Book Here” (in the center section). Click on the link and you’ll be redirected to a page where you can purchase the book from one of several retailers listed. Thanks for your support, James!

  • Josh Thompson

    I love this…I think that some men would say that these things are private, but why are they private? Probably because they have something to hide and your spouse is probably much less likely to suspect or wonder about something if you are this open about everything.