Married life is an adventure. And, if you’ve been together for any length of time, you know that sometimes it can be a challenging and tough adventure. As we are trekking on the marriage path, Susan and I sometimes get weary and tired. So to spur us on toward the awesome destination in front of us, we need things to be looking forward to in our marriage.
Why does having something to look forward to, together, matter in marriage? There are several benefits to a forward-looking perspective:
- Putting our focus together on something down the road provides some excitement, encouragement, and hope needed to endure rough patches on the road.
- Shaking us out of our regular routines breaks the boredom of the daily grind.
- Sharing a common goal that we could only achieve together unifies us.
- Creating new experiences creates new memories we later cherish.
- We end up growing together by learning together.
Whatever your reasons, here are 5 things to look forward to in marriage:
1. A Trip with your Wife or Family:
I have a friend who planned to take his wife on their first-ever cruise to the Caribbean on their 20th anniversary. He says it really energized them for a few months as they looked at websites and planned. Unfortunately, an unexpected job transition nixed those plans. But after getting over the disappointment, they realized they still enjoyed dreaming together and now have some ideas for their 25th-anniversary trip. Of course, sometimes you need just a quick getaway and that can be great, too. Susan and I like to go on weekend getaways which often quickly refresh us. If you want some pointers for planning a remarkable vacation check this post out.
2. Family Milestones:
Look for special milestone birthdays for children or grandchildren, significant anniversaries, graduations, or family reunions to craft some adventurous planning. What Susan and I have noticed is that if we don’t look ahead at these milestones, they tend to sneak up on us, catch us unprepared, and go by without much notice. So if you don’t have these milestones already on the family docket, plan them now.
3. New Experiences:
One way that couples can make an adventure is to commit to learning something new together, like taking dance lessons, trying a new hobby together, or attending a cooking class. Sharing in these new experiences can turn into something you enjoy together long-term as well. But even if you only share in the experience for a while, at least you’ve spent time together and learned about each other and yourself along the way.
4. Dreaming Together:
Several years ago, I blogged about creating a bucket list. We have accomplished some of those things, and as I look at it now, I still long to check off a few more with Susan in the years to come. We dream about things like going to Tuscany for a month or writing a marriage book (we did this with TWO books!). Even our adventures in adoption started by thinking and dreaming together. You can learn more about that here.
5. Financial Goals:
Early in our marriage, we made a goal of paying off the mortgage of our modest home. We looked forward with anticipation to that day when we’d tear up the mortgage. And then it happened…we were thrilled. Other couples I’ve talked to have worked together to decrease their mortgage from a 30-year to a 15-year loan or giving 20% of their earnings to their church or non-profit charity. Whatever your financial goals are, make them together. It really can be motivating and inspiring.
What are some other ways you’ve created something to look forward to and how did it help your marriage? Please share your thoughts with me below.
