Posted on: October 16, 2012

5 Common Mistakes Women Make in Marriage

5 common mistakes women make in marriage_thumb

 

Albert Einstein once defined insanity as, “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”  By implementing some of these changes, the common mistakes women make in marriage may turn into successes.

Here are 5 common mistakes women make in marriage and what can be done about it.

1. Not showing their husband respect.   Respect his judgment.  Don’t constantly question his decisions.  Respect his abilities.  Give him a chance to fix the sink before you call the plumber.

2. Not affirming their husband as a man.  Tell your husband that you think he is handsome.  Thank him for being a good father and provider.

3. Not putting their husband before their kids.  Don’t let your life revolve around your kids.  At some point, your children will leave home and you will find yourself sharing an empty house with a total stranger. Make your relationship with your husband a top priority.

4. Not trusting their husband.  Trust can be difficult, but it is necessary.  Without it, you will never feel secure in your marriage.  And, your husband will never feel like he is worthy of your trust.  If trust has been broken by your husband, he will need to earn it back. Allow him to take the necessary steps to restore it.  A marriage without trust is built not on a rock, but on the sand.

5. Not wanting their husband physically.  Physical intimacy is important to a man.  To know that he is desired by his wife makes him feel like he is important.  Your husband wants to be wanted.  Make it a priority in your marriage.

What common mistakes do you make in your marriage?  Please share them with me.

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  • sliner

     time to drop him and move on

  • Andrea Skelly

          I think that the 5 things listed above come naturally as a result of the husband loving the wife as Christ loved the church.  Unfortunately in this society that is not always the case. Priorities are often way off course, pornography is a big issue, and we live in a selfish age. In my first marriage….I began with the attitude of service, I wanted to please, and I diligently tried. Unfortunately, the person I was married to was very abusive both physically and emotionally. I continued to serve thinking my willingness to serve would change his heart, but it never did. The 5 things mentioned above as being mistakes…eventually became coping mechanisms for me to deal with the abuse. I poured my time into my kids to distance myself from the abuse and pain. I lost all respect and trust, and I didn’t want him to touch me sexually because I was disgusted with the way he hurt me when he did.  It took me 9 years to realize that God did not expect me to remain in that and that I did not deserved to be treated that way.
          Fortunately, God gave me a second chance….even when I had no plans on taking one. I have the most amazing husband any woman could ever ask for. He has a strong faith, he adores our children, his priorities are on us. He would never do anything to disrespect me. I love this man with all of my heart and I look forward to every single day that I awake…..excited that God has given me another day to be his wife. He gets my first energy, my affection, my respect….he comes before our children, and I grasp every opportunity to verbally affirm him. We spend so much time pouring our love into each other, there is no time to spend elsewhere.  These 5 things are definitely needed….but a lot of times its next to impossible to accomplish is the leader of the home is not taking his role seriously or showing love to his wife in the way God has laid out for him to. 

  • http://www.MarkMerrill.com/ Mark Merrill

    Andrea, thanks for sharing your pain and and the wonderful hope that you now have. 

  • L WHITE

    Very well stated! Your honesty and willingness to be transparent is appreciated!

  • Pingback: 5 Common Mistakes Women Make in Marriage « Mark's Blog | TryingToSaveMyMarriage

  • Bjornborg4tennis

    Happily? Because doing otherwise or getting a divorce would be a dishonor to God? I agree. I just feel so much anger towards her. And I am so lonely for love.

  • Jennifer DeFusco

    I read that in “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas.

  • Guest

    What do you do when you have no desire for sex? I have had surgically induced menopause, several years ago and am on HRT but since my surgery I have no desire for sex. I’ve talked with my doctor and I cannot increase my HRT medication due to side effects. I feel so guilty not fullfilling my husbands needs of frequency for sex. I often pray for God to help me, even pray while having sex, that God would help me get through it. How sad for my husband. It’s a sacrifical love for me to have sex, an act of obedience…but sometimes I wonder how much longer I can do this. I tell my husband often how much I appreciate him and what a wonderful father he is, etc. We are empty-nesters now. We have been married 25+ years. I love my husband enough to offer to leave him so he could have a more fulling sex life and he said no, that he loves me too. But yet I know he is hurt by my lack of passion in the bedroom….he deserves better. I find myself hoping he would become impotent, how awful of me…but it’s the truth. I know there must be other women who feel the same way.

  • Guest

    When will the stereotype be broken with men need respect women need love? It is way more important to me as a woman to feel respect than loved. When I feel respected I feel loved. Everything written for Christians propagate the myth that women need love and men need respect. I try to look at it this way would my husband feel fulfilled if I unconditionally respected him but didn’t show him outward signs of love? If I didn’t deny him sexually but never made the advance? If I always kissed him back but never kissed him first? So many article are written abut respecting your husband and how to show him respect and so many articles are written about how to show your wife love but never the opposite. I know how to respect my husband. He needs a little help in respecting me. I feel well loved he is always showing me he loves me but does question my decisions and my abilities so he could use a little help in that area.

    Also I am just saying sometimes women have a higher sex drive than their husbands and they are the ones who feel deprived. I would love sex twice a day where he would be satisfied with once a month. Why doesn’t anything written tell him to try to not push me away sexually?

  • May

    What if you are and have “always been” the provider ?
    My husband is almost perfect except for the fact he dosent seem to feel it is necessary for him to provide for the family( me).
    He stays busy doing things around the house and is like my personal assistant.
    I am blessed I have a high paying job but I have difficulty in this area.
    I love my husband more than I can say. Outside of this problem we do quite well.
    Any advise?
    Thank you

  • http://OsiSpeaks.com KYJurisDoctor

    GREAT POINTS RAISED IN THIS PIECE. AND THEY ARE ALL TRUE!

  • sosad

    this is my first time to post. i just don’t have the words to say. i’m just so sad.

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