Posted on: July 20, 2012

4 S’s to Show Kindness

4 S's to show kindness_thumb

 

Author Leo Buscaglia once wrote about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to identify the most caring child. The winner was a four-year-old boy whose next-door neighbor was an elderly man who had recently lost his wife. One day, the little boy saw the man crying. So, he walked into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked him what he said to the man, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

That little boy showed kindness to the old man. And kindness is one of the great pillars of love. Author Rick Warren says there are four things we need to do to show kindness to others:

1. See needs of people all around us—physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. That means you and I need to stop and look. Be observant. The little boy saw the need.

2. Sympathize with people’s pain and struggles. We’ve got to identify and empathize with them, feel what they feel. The little boy sympathized with the old man.

3. Seize the moment. Do what we can, when we can. Don’t wait. It’s okay that you’re interrupted. It’s okay that it’s inconvenient. The little boy promptly went to help the old man. He seized the moment.

4. Spend lavishly to meet the need. We should give our time, talent, and treasure to others without expecting anything in return. The little boy spent time just sitting there in the old man’s lap and helping him cry. The little boy loved that man. He saw, he sympathized, he seized, he spent.

How are you showing kindness to others? Are you modeling kindness for your kids?

(Portions of the foregoing were excerpted from All Pro Dad: Seven Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids by Mark Merrill, Thomas Nelson publishers, 2012; available at www.AllProDadBook.com)

  • Chris McCabe

    I believe I am good at steps 2 and 4, but what makes me fail so badly in this area is that I usually fail to see the need, or when I do, I am scared to seize the moment and do something about it. Honestly, some of the greatest “joys” in my life have come from the results of times I was able to help others. It has usually brought the blessings back to me ten fold. I just wish I was more able to see the need, and when I actually do, have the courage to do something about it.

  • Dena

    Two years ago tornados hit our area here in GA. Our family had no damage, but others around us were not as lucky.  Our little boy, who at the time was 6 years old, came to me and said, “I want to do something.”  He was not wasting any time!  He was sympathic and he was seizing the moment.  We let him come up with what he wanted to do.  We helped him write a letter that morning, called his school (a small Christian school) to make sure it was ok to distribute the letter to all 150 children.  Within a week, he had raised $400!  We were able to find a family using resources at our church and found a family in need.  It makes you very proud parents when your child has a heart for others and he acted on it without wasting any time!!

  • David

    I find problems with kindness especially in my current situation of providing for the welfare and healthcare of 93 & 92 year old parents in Africa. One with heart disease had a stroke in 2005 and now has dementia (short term meomory etc) and currently rushed by siblings into Private Hospital with lung infection, dehydraation, erratic blood pressure (BP) and bed pressure sores. The other (92 years) was diagnosed with prostate cancer and is / as per doctor, will be on chemotherapy for the rest of his life.

    A dear friend (single parent supporting: elderly mother, friend’s grandchildren & youngest daughter in 1st year law school) recently had a second hand car breakdown and is unrepairable. Needs a new car with radio & airconditioning in view of the Middle East heat (32 – 51C between May & Nov). The friend earns reasonable salary and affords to pay a tithe of 10% to a church).

    In this situation, I find it VERY difficult to be sympathetic. Maybe someone can advise wisely.

  • David

    PS: Friend keeps hinting for financial support, which in my current situation I cannot. I would have thought with the tithe issue, one can suspend to be able to save for the imediately required issential item.

    My parent’s current Hospital bill is $1000 / day x 8 days and no idea when she will be discharged. The other has monthly blood tests and Doctor consultation where the monthly chemo-injection ($350 a piece) is administered monthly PLUS maintenance chemo tablets at $230 / month.

  • Cynmar621

    Maybe she is just venting to you and really not “hinting”, it sounds like a she has a lot going on right now.  But of course I don’t know all the details of your situation, just figured I could speak from my own perspective. 

    Wow, I talk about finances to people but never with the intention of “hinting” in hopes they offer me money, maybe I should re-consider who I share that with. 

  • Lynsie

    I think this article is talking about having a heart for caring for others, not just checking these items off your list and saying done.  If you cannot help financially then you should not feel “guilted” into it, that is not the point that this article is making.  We are to serve expecting nothing in return and it’s not about us.  Dena, so awesome to see God working in your son and using him to do great things!   

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Chris, you are not alone. It’s a lot easier to write about things like this than to do them! I’m  still struggling to show kindness to others consistently.

  • http://uprootinganger.com/ Kay Camenisch

    It is so much easier to stay in my little cocoon and not notice other needs, much less give of myself to meet them–but life is so much fuller/sweeter when I do step out, seize the moment, and spend my time, energy and resources to meet someone’s needs. I feel the Lord’s pleasure When I do. . . . “When you’ve done it to the least of these, you’ve done it unto me.”

    Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. Does that mean that if we want to grow in kindness, we need to yield more to the Spirit and let Him have more control in our lives?

  • Aries361

    We could all learn a lot from this little guy.

  • Ellarice

    I really want to help and I believe that I feel and see others pains and need.  I have tried to reach out and do, but some times I knocked off my feet by those who seem to feel so entitled to everything.  I have to work hard to keep those attifudes from affecting the way I see other