Posted on: July 18, 2012

5 Ways Parents Can Be a Role Model for Kids

5 things all parents should model for their kids_thumb

 

One of the best things you can do as a parent is to strive to live a model life that is worthy for your children to follow. By virtue of being a parent, you are a leader and therefore have followers you influence, namely your children. And because you influence your children, you are a role model.  Here are 5 things you should model for your kids.

Model consistency. Whether you are with your family, friends, or coworkers, your child needs to see that you are the same person wherever you are and whoever you are with. Your child needs to know that you are the real deal and rock solid, not a person whose personality is constantly shifting.

Model self-denial. It’s easy to live a life that’s focused on “me.” Your child needs to see that you’re willing to forego buying things and doing things that would give you comfort and pleasure.

Model honor. If you want your child to honor and respect you, then show your child how it’s done. Honor your mother and father, whether you think they deserve it or not.

Model control over words. Words matter. You need to chain your tongue, tame it, and train it. Make sure the words that come out of your mouth toward your spouse, your child, your friends, and even your enemies are respectful and kind.

Model appropriate actions. Your child is always watching. Your child sees the kinds of movies and television shows you watch, notices the music you listen to, the people you associate with, the way you drive, and the way you treat your spouse and other people. Your child’s actions will often be a reflection of your actions. As Benjamin Franklin put it, “Well done is better than well said.”

What are you modeling for your kids? Please share your comments with me.

(Portions of the foregoing were excerpted from All Pro Dad: Seven Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids by Mark Merrill, Thomas Nelson publishers, 2012; available at www.AllProDadBook.com)

  • D40

    Awesome!!!! Thks for such a valuable info.

  • Joecdm

    I wish every parent in the world would read and follow these 5 basis parenting principles.

  • Norm Able

    Thanks for doing all you can to preserve the spiritual health of marriage and the family!  Children need to be taught the Word of God. The Word of God is the lifeblood of our lives. With our actions and the way we engage our children, we can either build up or destroy – in others eyes – the very foundation by which we stand.  Really care! There’s also the importance of raising a Biblicaly literate children. While it is important to teach, encourage, & admonish, we must be directly invested in the lives of our children. And we need to live our lives in such a way so that people see something distinctive about you and ask you about the hope we have – Jesus!

  • http://twitter.com/UBAwesome Dr Richard Norris

    Dads are the biggest influence (or are designed to be) in our kids formative lives. We have to influence them to excellence. We must keep in mind that as we are their Dad 24/7 and 365 they are watching and ours 24/7 365.

  • http://www.thekidscoach.org.uk/ Naomi

    Hopefully all of the above with different degrees of emphasis I imagine.

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Richard, thanks again for sharing your comments.

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Me to, Joe!

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    My pleasure D40.

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    You are welcome, Norm. Thanks so much for your comments.

  • VAAngieB28

    Dads are not the “biggest” influence in kids’ lives – try telling this to a widow, or a single woman doing her best to raise children in a moral way after her husband leaves her. This article is absolutely flawed in every rational way. Do your research before making such inflammatory, polarizing, insulting statements that are nothing but insulting to parents who work hard, teach their children right from wrong, and deserve, every once in a while, to buy something that may bring a bit of comfort and relaxation to people who work around the clock to create a perfect life for the children they adore. 

  • VAAngieB28

    And by the way, “to” is a preposition or precedes and infinitive verb. If you are saying something is a synonym for “also” then you say, too. AND, the plural possessive of the word “kid” is “kids’” with the apostrophe AFTER the s. 

  • VAAngieB28

    And by the way, “to” is a preposition or precedes an infinitive verb. If you are saying something is a synonym for “also” then you say, too. AND, the plural possessive of the word “kid” is “kids’” with the apostrophe AFTER the s. 

  • Troyman62

    You’re poor child.

  • Widowed christian father

    I don’t see “man”, “dad”, or “father” listed in this article at all. It is spoken to each parent- male, female, single again, married, or widowed. I am praying for you (VAAngieB28) as you sound like you need God’s comfort and love at this time. I am also praying he will put someone directly in your path to reach & minister to you where you are. My grammer may not be exactly correct either, but I know God loves you and I love and care about you because God loves and cares about me also. My life on earth has not been perfect either with my, with my birth father” leaving us before I was born, and losing my wife to cancer at a young age a few years ago.
    My mother did a great job of raising me through Christian principles similar to those mentioned in the above article and my wife did the samething with our boys along side me. I will pray for you over the next few days concerning what is behind your unhappiness and negitive ideals expressed.

  • Dr Yvonne Sum

    Your thoughts echo the leadership actions and values that I discuss in The 7Rs of Parenting, namely: Role Modelling, Respect, Rules, Routine, Review &Reflect, Reorganise, Response-ability. Your 5 ways particularly resonated with the first two: Role Modelling consistently your authentic self through all contacts, and Respect for self and others through Behavioural response.

  • Pingback: Your modeling career | Children & Families Ministry of New Community Church

  • Sean P.

    How am i to be a role model for a child who doesn’t feel like she should not have to listen to direction from me , since i am “not her father”?
    Sean P.

  • Uneva

     Whoever told you that dads are designed to be the biggest influence in children’s formative lives knows very little about motherhood.

  • Shantania Leggins

    Wow! I just thought about how I model before my kids on yesterday. I was driving with my 8 year old and I got over without using my blinker. She said “mommy when ever you get over are you suppose to use your blinker?” My response was yes. She then said “well why didn’t you use yours?” All I could say was “ouch”, mommy was wrong. I should have used it. That incident made me think about these things mentioned in the article. To kids there is no small wrong or big wrong.