Posted on: July 10, 2012

A Message for The Bachelorette, Emily Maynard: Don’t Follow Your Heart

bachelorette emily maynard_thumb

 

Okay. I admit it. I’ve been watching this season’s Bachelorette.

I don’t watch television much and certainly don’t usually watch shows like this, but my wife, daughter and me started watching a few weeks ago. As I watched, I observed some redeeming qualities in Emily and several of the guys, but, of course, also saw and heard some things that may only cause future pain for them.

For example, last night Emily said, “I just have to follow my heart” as she struggled to make the choice as to which guys would stay and which one she would send home. Maybe you’ve even said the same thing yourself at some point.

I wish I could have told Emily, what I wrote in my blog post, “Don’t Follow Your Heart.” You see, when most people say, “follow your heart,” they’re really just saying, “follow your feelings.”  And yes, feelings by themselves can sometimes lead you down a smooth road, but more often than not, they’ll lead you on a road full of potholes and maybe even a fatal crash. Feelings can often be shallow and unreliable.

I wish I could have told her to “Lead Your Heart” instead. As I explained in that post, there are four ways to lead your heart.

1. Check your heart. A key to leading your heart is to constantly be aware of where it is. Know what you really treasure. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also,” Jesus says.

2. Guard your heart. When something unhealthy tempts your heart, it is your responsibility to guard it against temptation. “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

3. Set your heart. Set your thoughts and affections on what’s most important in life. Your relationship with God.

4. Invest your heart. Don’t wait until you “feel like” doing the right thing in your relationship. Do it today.

Do you watch the show? What’s your take?

 

  • Angela

    Very Well said! I always enjoy reading your perspective.

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Glad to hear it, Angela. Please keep those comments coming!

  • Ladyvic44

    Awesome word from Mark Merrill…thanks for sharinmg

  • Panikki99

    I hope her heart doesn’t lead her to Jef if that’s what she’s following at this point:/ He’s not ready IMO for a wife and step daughter, but then neither is Arie, and she sent home the only guy I thought was ready to be both a husband and a father home last night so it doesn’t matter much to me anymore. As someone who has watched this show from the beginning….don’t worry because regardless of who she picks it won’t last;)

  • bg

    I am captivated because it is a way of spending time with the girls in my family – we actuallyu have made Mondays ‘bonding’ days where we have dinner and the girls all come over – 5 women in my family and my daughter…… I liked the questions Jeff asked because he was being so practical about it.  The flame is Arie for sure—-but experience tells me that could flame out -quick.  Sean was the man—-the best thing that could have happened to him (dodged a bullet in my opinion) is to be kicked off and brought back as the next bachelor—my daughter wants to look him up in TX.  :)   Jeff is quite the gy though—-!  good thoughts Mark—– 

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    It does seem like Sean is fairly well-grounded. 

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Thanks bg and thanks for sharing.

  • Sherriecvt

    Couldn’t agree more with your post. I also use watching the show as time to spend with my daughter and talk about the good the bad and the un- reality of reality tv. I was troubled by Emily always saying Sean was perfect. No such thing as perfect this side of Heaven and the show was edited to lead us to cheer Sean on. I truly hope that Gods will will prevail in Emily , Ricki and all the guys lives. Marriage is work but worth it

  • sweatbreaker

    I watch each season of the Bachelorette and the Bachelor and I was just happy that she didn’t for go spending the night with each of the men. FINALLY a G-rated show!!!

  • Emily

    Great relevant post Mark.  I agree with you.  I personally think Emily is a smart Christian girl and I think she made a mistake not chossing Sean.  They had the #1 most important thing in common, their Christian faith.  

    I especially like what you say about guarding your heart.  I have had a hard time putting into words why I am choosing not to read “Fifty Shades of Grey” when people ask and I think this is a great verse to remember in those conversations.  

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Emily, thanks for chiming in. You’re right, it is so important to guard our hearts and the hearts of our children.

  • Roy

    That’s some wisdom right there my friend!!!

  • TruthSeeker

    I’m so glad that your post was at the top of my “Emily Maynard” search and I’m glad I read it out of curiosity; your words of wisdom are so great. I pray that Emily doesn’t suffer heartbreak in her quest for love. Thank you for taking the time to throw some sound advice out in cyberspace!

  • Lora

    I hope she ends up with jef. He looks young, but he is ready. He came from a big family, full of love! he will give Emily the same thing.

    Sean is only perfect on paper. If he was such a good christian, he will not have string along a girl he dated for 3 years, and dodge married questions. Instead of doing the right thing. That doesn’t sound very christian to me.

  • http://twitter.com/ParentingCoach_ PPS

    Thanks for sharing.  This is the first Bachelorette we have watched as a family and we use it to discuss dating issues with my teenage daughter.  You have brought up more important discussion points! Thanks!