Posted on: June 12, 2012

5 Reasons Why Home is the Hardest Place to Lead

5 reasons lead at home_thumb

 

Yes, it can be tough leading your team at the office.  But I would suggest that it’s even tougher to lead your team at home.  Here are five reasons why:

  1. You can’t fire your children.  You’re a parent forever, no matter what.
  2. There is no paid or unpaid time off. You are always on the job.
  3. There are no salaries, bonuses or raises.  Parents are more like an ATM.
  4. There are no awards, accolades or applause. When was the last time you received a standing ovation from your kids or your spouse?
  5. The HR (human resource) issues are daily.  E.g. marital conflict, sibling arguments, bullying, sickness, school grades, talking back, crying, lying, etc.

 

Why do you think home is the hardest place to lead?  Please share your comments with me.

  • Joatgm

    Reason 6: there are training manuals, classes and advanced degrees in business leadership. Family leadership? Not so much, and never funded by a company!

  • CV

    There are no replacements readily available when one spouse “quits” his/her job!

  • Tnrcody

    But its the best job in the world!

  • Colomom

    I am a single parent, and I know from experience that the hardest thing about leading my family is the constant challenges of my authority. Being screamed at by a child, or having a child be destructive. It can be very trying! And not reacting to them in the same way that they are cating can be so hard, because as they get older, they learn what they can use to make you feel guilty or to hurt your feelings. Parenting IS the most difficult job, but after you get through all the hard stuff, there are great rewards :)

  • Alshokie

    I find it the hardest to be consistent in leadership and in discipline. Every day I read this blog and iMom and try to be mindful. What I am consistent in is: apologizing to my children for MY behavior when needed, wanting to do better and grow everyday, striving to grow everday, and trying to show them me through my love even if at the end of the day it is my apology for making my own “sad” choices by being maybe too impatient or using a unhelpful tone or other. I had a very stressful career before having children as a project manager for large commercial design jobs. The accountability, liabilty and stress of that job was killer for my soul. Now I stay home and I’m always saying that when I do go back to work I am going to be such a better manager, boss and employee from all I’ve learnt being a SAHM. The accountability, liabilty and stress of this parental job is killer for my sleep schedule, wallet and patience but never my soul. My soul and my heart have grown and stretched and reached so far out of my body… Every day that makes me wake up and try to do it better, more mindfully, more consistently. Maybe at the end they’ll remember not my strength of leadership but my go at ‘humility’. I’m hoping they remember the “moments” and not every day I do get it “right”! lol! :)

  • Brunothemag

    Allegiance between spouses is a must.  Parenting with a purpose can only be obtained when both a mother and a father have discussed household rules and stand by one another.  If there is love and understanding between a husband and a wife then all of the day to day worries are secondary.  Right down to the smallest of tasks
     

  • Alshokie

    I’m hoping they remember the “moments” and not every day I DO NOT get it “right”! (that’s what I meant) lol! :)

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Brunothemag, I agree that allegiance and agreement between spouses is really important. Thanks for your thoughts.

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Alshokie, thanks for sharing your heart. Consistency is touch, but is key.

  • Leos530i

    Another reason is because no matter how hard you lead in your home others do their best not to follow your lead. For example, try telling your kids to do something which might make a situation better for them and they will end up doing the opposite of your direction.

  • Antoinetteyap34

    Because parents play the role of so many different faces (mom, dad, doctor, teacher, principal, friend, maid, cook, etc.) and we are needed in different places at the same time under one location.

  • http://twitter.com/chadro12 Chad Miller

    There are awards and applause. The award of developing a legacy to be proud of, and applause that comes from others for your intentional parenting. For instance, an elderly neighbor made it a point to come see my wife and applaud our parenting for our 5 year olds great manners and consideration for others. My son displayed these behaviors when we were not around. That was an incredible reward, especially when as parents we often do not give our children the credit they deserve. Afterall, children model the behavior of the parents, good or bad.

  • Herdfan

    Thanks for your insights Mark.  They are always helpful and remind dailu to refocus.  I think I would add to this list that your family cannot fire you. Sometimes the behaviors we would not dare demonstrate at work for fear of repercussions we practice in our homes. 

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Good point, Herdfan. Thanks for chiming in.

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Thanks for sharing that, Chad.

  • Joanna

    You are also emotionally attached to your children. No matter what, it is at times very difficult to distant yourself from the kinds of consequences they will get themselves, and you, ultimately into.

  • K. Reeves

    Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone in feeling that home is the biggest test of my ability to lead. It oftentimes feels like it to me; it is nice to know that it’s not just me.

  • http://www.MarkMerrill.com/ Mark Merrill

    K. You are so welcome! Thanks for commenting!

  • AJ

    Why do you think home is the hardest place to lead? Lack of mandatory training sessions!! (Of course, that’s one of the reasons why I signed up for your daily nuggets of wisdom)!!

  • Claireb

    There are on-site/ off-site project management restructuring in a moment’s notice. Being informed of the class needing cupcakes at 9pm the night before, or the put luck dinner this evening? all this, along with Little League, soccer practice, and First Communion on the same morning. Parents must micromanage multiple schedules and coordinate them to fit into a 24 hour period. (providing you don’t need sleep)