10 Things Wives Want to Hear from their Husbands

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1. “Thanks for all you do for our family.”

Yes, you work hard.  You might even feel that your load is a million times heavier than your wife’s.  But your wife works hard, too…and a little thanks goes a long way.

2. “You are a great mom and wife.”

If you really want to make her day, go beyond saying “thank you” and praise her for doing a good job.

3. “Let me do that for you.”

Your wife realizes you are exhausted when you get home from work.  She probably is too.  So offer to help out.  Start with something small like cleaning up after dinner.  Or, if you really want to score points, do the laundry or something else you normally don’t do.

4. “I love you so much.”

Did you notice the extra words, after the “I love you?”  Telling your wife you love her is a great start, but telling her why you love her, how much you love her, or that you’ll love her forever, will melt her heart.

5. “You are beautiful.”

No matter her age, her size or how long you’ve been married, a woman loves to hear that you think she’s attractive.  And, don’t just say, “You look nice.”  Instead, use adjectives like, great, lovely, fantastic.

6. “Let me watch the kids.”

If you already watch your children regularly, good job!  If you don’t, think of it this way.  When you offer to take care of the children, your wife gets to recharge her batteries.  A wife with a recharged battery is usually more patient, kind and loving.

7. “Let’s go out tonight.”

Take charge of your next date night.  This shows your wife that you enjoy spending time with her.

8. “I’m sorry you had a hard/frustrating/disappointing day.”

These words let your wife know that you are aware of what’s going on in her life.

9. “I would marry you all over again.”

In one sentence you’re telling your wife you value your life together and that you’re committed to her.

10. “How can I be a better husband to you?”

Hearing these words will either make your wife burst into tears, smile like a kid in a candy store, or, if she’s completely shocked, laugh uncontrollably.  Before you ask this question, though, be ready to hear what she has to say without being defensive.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • MPK

    Sorry to beat this dead horse again.  I just reread this part and really, no offense, but this is just junior high thinking: “I wish my husband would tell me about his day, how he feels, the deep stuff.”  Your husband needs to relax and do something else.  There’s no reason to review the battles of the day.  Just be nice to him.  Be very very nice.  That is all you need to do, and I trust that God has equipped you very amply for that assignment.

  • Cvett84

    I really don’t say any of the things mentioned above. I want my wife to leave me alone and don’t talk to me. I don’t want her to touch me, don’t mention sex cause she isn’t getting any from me. If she wants she can go else where for sex. If she left me I would be really happy. 

  • first last

    I can’t add anything of much value to what’s been been said. I’m just another married man (20yrs in 3 months) who says and does these things but gets criticism, judgment, and anger in response.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QHJS3O4HVWXYUKBJFFAOP26CJE Bored

    Perfectly said…husbands AND wives. If we all lived with a GIVE, GIVE mentality, our relationships would truly be grand.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QHJS3O4HVWXYUKBJFFAOP26CJE Bored

    Sorry for the frustration, but MPK is right, we men really don’t want or need to talk about it. There will be exceptions, but it’s true for most of us. I consider my relationship with my wife to be very close, very open, and loving, but I don’t often ‘share’ the bad feelings. Perhaps we prefer to protect people from that, or do not want to appear weak. The male ego can complicate things sometimes.

  • love my family

    I love this list. I particularly would love to hear mine tell me that he appreciates all that I do for our family. Not one time have I ever heard that from him. I have to work, due to our financial situation, so it would be particularly welcome for ME to hear this from him. Not once. Also it would be wonderful to hear that I am a great mom and wife. Not once on that one either. Our marriage has been in trouble, in my mind only, for quite some time. I have never told him how I feel, except that I did ask him to go to a marriage counselor with me (a request which he ignored, TWICE), but I am trying to be positive and upbeat, and he has a new job that keeps him away a lot which has actually helped our situation by making us enjoy our time together more, but oh how I long to hear these words from him, yet feel that I never will. Thanks for all you do, Mark.

  • Yes_miss_Alice

    I hope this list is from the 50s or a time when equality in the home was less practiced and recognized because this is the most sexist and outdated list. So much of the language used is so unbelievably demeaning and offensive. “a wife with a recharged battery” what is she, a sex toy?! Not only that, it goes on to list how being nice to your wife will benefit you as the husband. I feel lucky to have a partner who respects our equal values but It’s also what i am entitled to, along with every other woman.

  • jaz

    I agree with this. Instead of just reading this by yourself and keep expecting you would hear these from him and at the end of the day nothing happens, why not share this to him and talk about things.. Which what i did and it cost me nothing! Small things can be resolved earlier before it becomes big if you just communicate with each other…

  • jaz

    I agree with this. Its also important to learn each others love languages.. Some want to hear it while others like to feel it.. What if both expects the other way of love language,,, then talk about it. Tell each other what will make you happy and content.. Whoelse should?

  • Donnadeen

    Sounds exactly like what my husbands comment would be!

  • drrichardnorris

    Hey Mark!

    A very practical list that will make a big difference in a marriage. Glad I score 10/10! (It has taken a conscious effort).

    Be Awesome!
    Richard

  • http://leadyofam.blogspot.com/ Chase Christy

    It is really easy to say the right things.  The difficult part is making sure your wife holds the right place in your heart.  Sometimes the people we love slide into the background the easiest.

  • Norm

    You are called to love your wife as a gift from God……no matter her response.  Tough, I realize, but be the bigger person and lead by example.  Try finding a group who is doing “Love & Respect” by Emerson Eggerich, or just read the book.  Eye opener……

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  • guest

    If you still have a wife, consider yourself lucky,  You’re a pig.

  • guest

    These are okay but can be pared down a bit.  #2 Can be left at “You’re a good mom.”  I don’t care if I’m a great wife or not.  How many husbands truly care about being “A great husband?”  Please!  #3 Just do it!  If you make a big production about doing something it is pointless.  Don’t SAY you’re going to do it, just do it!  You don’t deserve a reward for doing the laundry. #7 No thanks!  I’d rather go out with my friends.  Just do #6 more often. #9 Don’t bother.  I don’t care. We’re in this now, let’s make the best of it. #10 Really? I’m supposed to cry, smile like an idiot or laugh like a fool?  Just do the aforementioned things and we’ll be cool.  For my part, I will do the same.  I will tell you that you’re a good dad, I will help you with anything you need, and I will take care of the kids while you go out with your friends.   All of this goes back to doing for others as you would have them do for you.  It’s not rocket science.  There’s really no need for all the added hype.

  • http://www.MarkMerrill.com/ Mark Merrill

    Your comment has been deleted because it violates my comment policy. http://www.markmerrill.com/markmerrill-com-commenting-policy/

  • PA Down Under

    You may have stumbled across the wrong website. This site is for people who need to learn about being selfless.

    There are any number of feminist websites around which can help enhance your sense of entitlement.

  • http://www.MarkMerrill.com/ Mark Merrill

    Your comment has been deleted because it violates my comment policy. http://www.markmerrill.com/markmerrill-com-commenting-policy/

  • jimbo…

    My wife saw this list and died laughing. I tried to use it. But seriously? here’s a more realistic list for those of us who are more pragmatic…

    10) I like your long skirt much better than that slutty skirt that my hot coworker is wearing.

    9) Geesh! That person that cut me off must have been a man!

    8) Excuse me. I’m sorry. I’m lost and I’m too stupid to use google maps on my phone. Can you give me directions to the vasectomy clinic?

    7) You are right honey…

    6) After the Glee marathon can we stay home and listen to Bruno Mars all day?

    5) It’s ok. You can laugh at me. This injury won’t hurt me for too much longer.

    4) No need to clean up. I’ve already done the dishes.

    3) Dinner is served.

    2) I would love to call your mom.

    1) Yup… you got me that was a good one.

  • Lishawn

    I am a house wife. I would have probably said the same as your husband…. LOL.

  • JS2008

    As a wife and mother, I couldn’t disagree more with your assessment. My husband has an extremely stressful & confusing job and counts on me to be there as a “sounding board” for him, even when 99% of the time I have no idea what he is saying! It is the fact that I am LISTENING to him that he cares about. He doesn’t dump on me daily, just when it is getting to be too much. It also helps me understand the times he seems to be stand-offish or extra frustrated. By him talking to me about his work problems, I am better able to not take it personally. It was the same for him when I was still working full time. Just knowing he wanted to hear about my day (bad and good) helped ease a lot of my stress. Communication is an important component in any marriage, or relationship. We also know what is going on with our children in school, and not always because they tell us. We communicate with their teachers and follow their assignments and grades on the school’s website.

  • JS2008

    As a wife, I am sorry your wives are unappreciative of your attempts :( The more I read some of the comments/responses on here, the more I appreciate my husband and everything he does for/with/because of me!! No, he doesn’t always do it the way *I* would have, but hey, at least he is doing it. Thank you for reminding me to value the thought and feeling in the gesture, and focus less on the execution!!

  • JS2008

    Same here…and I admit, sometimes I get annoyed by it, instead of appreciating that my husband loves me so much that he just can’t help it! Maybe an article on how to graciously accept compliments, even when you are annoyed and/or awkward at receiving them?? My husband is a love language of speech and physicality while I am more quiet/reserved and value my “me” time….

  • http://www.facebook.com/korey.meyerwysocki Korey Meyer Wysocki

    awesome!! I’m glad I’m not the only wife with a husband who has a one track mind. But I love him for it!! too funny!

  • dlmuller1

    That made for a good laugh! Thanks for sharing :)

  • Dave

    I’m not sure that this comment is a direct response to Mark’s article. It begs the question: since you’ve expressed that you are frustrated by “these articles,” what exactly would you rather Mark have said? “Why bother? Your marriage is doomed from the get go” perhaps? Of course not.

    I loved my first wife every single minute of 13 years while she never respected me and ultimately gave herself to another man before the ending it all in divorce. Neither that event in my life nor the hurt and anger I may never fully recover from changes the fact that Mark’s advice here is solid. These tips are not guarantees that your marriage will be a smashing success, they are tools to help each of us make sure that we are doing everything we can to contribute to it’s success. In the end, of course, it takes two, but this doesn’t free us from or duty to strive for a deeper love and respect for our wives as God would have us. This article is sound advice the difficulties that we both faced in our previous marriages (despite our best efforts) is no reflection on this good council.

  • Peter Levy

    I am one that “cares” for the boy. Watching them isn’t half as much fun as caring for them. Maybe it’s a regional thing?

  • Chellé

    husband and yours would be good friends ;-)

  • Rhonda Thornton Slagter

    I think this post is awesome….however it makes me sad cause my husband does none of these and if I showed him this post he would clam up for another 30 years…all you who have a hubby that does just 2 or 3 of these things, Please appreciate everything you have

  • Kandi

    Always

  • Kandi

    One tracked mind.

  • Alyssa Marie James

    You’ve helped me and my husband a lot thank you :)

  • sasren

    i am thanking the great man called drolikipa who help me and cast a love spell on my ex boy, we were in love for more than a year. two days to our marriage he called me and told me that he is no going to marry me that he has a woman that he is so much in love with i cried, my friend told me about this man i felt it was scan until i give it a try and he help me now we are married and we are expecting our baby soon, i will advise if you have any problem contact this man. drolikipaspellhome@gmail.com

  • http://www.MarkMerrill.com/ Mark Merrill

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