Posted on: January 26, 2011

Do Your Children Know You Love Them?

 

How do they know?  Well, if you want an honest answer, all you have to do is ask them.  That’s what I did with my kids when they were younger.  I first asked Megan… “Megan, how do you know I love you?” “Because you tickle me,” she said.  So I said, “What if my hands were tied behind my back and I couldn’t tickle you, then how would you know that I love you?”  She responded, “Because you spend time with me.”  Then I asked Emily, “Emily, how do you know that I love you?”  “Because you say so,” she said. “Well what if my lips were zipped together and I couldn’t say so, then how would you know that I love you?”  She smiled and shouted “Because you play with me!” My son, Marky was next.  Anyone that knows Marky knows that he has always been a man of few words. “Marky, how do you know I love you?” I asked.  He looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and with a grin said, “I don’t know.” That’s my boy!

Do you show your kids you love them with your actions? By being affectionate with them?

Here are a few things I’ve done to show affection to my children.

  • Wink at my daughter across the dinner table.
  • Hold my girl’s hand while taking a walk.
  • Give big hugs to my son.
  • Have a bedtime tuck in routine where I pray with them and sing to them even though I’m not a vocalist!
  • When I say to my daughter, “I love you the most.” She says, “I love you more.”  I say, “No, I Iove you more.” She responds with, “I love you more than the world,” then I say, “I love you more than the Universe!”
  • I say “I love you” to my daughter by giving hand signals pointing to my eye, my heart and to them.

If you have teen daughters, please hear me. Your affection shouldn’t stop when they become tweens or teens. If you don’t show affection to your daughter, someone else will.  It’s easy when they’re little girls.  When they go through puberty and become young women, it can seem a bit awkward for us and for them.  But they need affection just as much during those budding, pimple-faced adolescent years as they did before.  They may look like a young woman on the outside, but on the inside, they’re still a girl. Show affection always!

  • Njorogelilian

    Thats true Mark, if such words are said they have self confidence being young and when they grow up. Thanks

  • Anonymous

    Man….. I just found this blog site yesterday after hearing Mr. Merrill on a local talk radio show in the morning. But it seems so many of the blog posts here really hit home.

  • dcs

    Thank you – I need this encouragement this morning.

  • Kathy Feagin-Jones

    Great advice!!! I’ve always knew my Father loved me because he was nice, considerate, committed, up lifting and a true man of God. My Father taught me to love everybody and to treat everybody the way I want to be treated. My Father taught me to be honest, sincere and forgiving. I love my Father because he first loved God. Through God my Father has been the best Father any child could have. I remember all the wonderful things my Mother and Father taught me. My life is full of joy and happiness thanks to my wonderful loving and kind Parents. Don’t get me wrong. I got my butt beat when I was out of order. But, the whippings were done in love too. My Mother cried more than I did when she had to whip me. My Father would talk unless I really needed a whipping. Nevertheless, it all made me the strong independent woman I am today. God is my life….

  • Melanie Robbins

    I agree wholeheartedly! My father was the way you described and it made such a difference in my life. My husband also is good about showing love to his children — such a tremendous blessing!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_DE6JJUNF2R6PDZL4Z5XHPJEMYM j

    Am I missing something or is this almost entirely about daughters? What about our sons? You only hold hands with daughters, wink at daughters? Someone is very in love with his daughter but obviously treats his son VERY differently. Make sure to continue to show affection to your tween and teen daughters, are sons exempt from this?? Very disappointing….

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Hi J, thanks for joining in. Two of the bullet points above refer to my sons as well. I hug them a lot, tuck them in bed, and kiss them good night…even at the ages of 16 and 15!

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    That’s wonderful, Melanie!

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Hey anonymous, so pleased to hear that! Keep coming back and let us know how we can serve you!

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    DCS, I’m grateful that you were encouraged! Let us know what else we can do for you.

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Kathy, what a beautiful story of a loving father and heavenly Father!

  • http://twitter.com/calinvalean Calin

    Mark, you are doing a great job here! Always feel challenged and motivated to do more for my children in that direction. Greetings all the way from Romania!

  • http://www.FamilyMinute.com/ Mark Merrill

    Wow, all the way from Romania! Are you American or Romanian? I have two children who were born and grew up in Krasnoyarsk, Russia.

  • Allprodad

    Mark,
    Love your posts. I got hooked listening to the ‘Family Minute” spots on the radio on my drive in and signed up for the daily emails. I live in Indianapolis and have always been a Tony Dungy fan so when the email regarding All Pro Dads Breakfast found its way to my inbox I signed up as team captain for two chapters, (I have two daughters in different schools). It was difficult at first but the monthly breakfasts have really started to take life. I have a few sponsors helping out with food and have scheduled some really great speakers. What you do really does make a difference in so many ways, please keep up the good work and thanks for all you do.

    If you ever get to Indy I would love to have you speak at our breakfasts, I do both schools the same morning (they start an hour apart) you could talk to two sets of dads and kids in one morning.

    Bob S.

  • Pal

    I feel I am on the right track. Keep them close — the World wants them!!!

  • BeRnZ_6684

    It is n0t just for fathers but for mothers as well… it is very right to check if our children understands us. A time for us to reflect our actions. ;D