January 3, 2011 Posted By: Mark Merrill

10 Things Husbands Want to Hear from their Wives

 

Mark Twain once commented, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”  I agree.  There is nothing like specific and detailed praise and validation to energize a marriage.  After some research here at Family First, we found the 10 things husbands want to hear most from their wives.  And if we missed one, please post your idea in the comments section below.

1. “I love being your wife.”

As simple as it sounds, husbands want to know that their wives are content in their marriage, and truly enjoy just being with them.  When is the last time you thanked your husband for marrying you?  Don’t just assume he knows.  Tell him!

2. “You’re an outstanding father.”

Deep in the heart of every man is the desire to be seen as a hero—especially to his children.  Specifically tell your husband why he is your kids’ hero.  And, tonight at dinner, tell your children why he is so special.

3. “I’m really attracted to you.  You are the man!”

It’s a myth that women are always more looks-conscious than men.  As guys’ hairlines begin to recede and stomachs start protruding, they can become quite sensitive about their appearance.  Never joke about how your husband looks.  Tell him he’s “hot” and how attracted you are to him.

4. “I really respect the decision you made.”

When a man makes a decision, especially a tough one, he doesn’t want his wife being critical of it or questioning him about it.  He wants to know that his wife is behind him and admires his ability to make good decisions.

5. “I know how important it is to live within our means.  I’m with you on this.”

Your husband is concerned about the future of your family.  So that means he is concerned about taking care of his family financially.  Having a wife he can rely on to spend and save wisely is a tremendous comfort to him.

6. “I’m so grateful for your spiritual leadership.”

All of us are hardwired for a relationship with God, and many men want to be seen as the spiritual caretakers of their families.  Encourage your husband in his faith and for taking his role as a spiritual leader seriously.

7. “You are so wise.”

Many men are born problem solvers and relish the process of thinking through something and arriving at a solution.  This, incidentally, is why your husband is always trying to “fix” your problems when all you want him to do is listen.  Recognizing your husband’s mental prowess and complimenting him on his intelligence will pay massive dividends to you.  Emphasize to him that you trust his wise judgment.

8. “I appreciate how hard you work to provide for our family.”

There are many things in life that your husband cannot control, but one he can control is effort.  It brings him great pleasure to work hard and see the results.  To directly control, and be the man responsible for creating something from nothing thrills him.  Encourage his great work ethic.

9. “Thank you very much for helping me with that.”

When a man serves his wife, he wants her to recognize it.  A simple “thank you” is all he needs.

10. I’m impressed with how you handled that situation.”

Sometimes a wife will point out when her husband does not handle something well.  So when he handles a particularly difficult situation well, let him know.

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  • http://mrgman.wordpress.com Carlos

    you nail it again Mark. Kudos

  • ohmyalikins

    Nina, what is the FB look up name for that? I’m going to look for “The Respect Dare” :)

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6KFQZYWJN67HI3AJET7HOMV5N4 WilliamC

    You clearly missed the point of the article.  Conditional love is not love at all.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6KFQZYWJN67HI3AJET7HOMV5N4 WilliamC

    Sorry, but trying to put a politically correct spin on the Bible is just wrong.  I have two daughters and a son.  I love them all equally.  But I have different expectations for my son than my daughters.  I expect more from him…and I know that he is my legacy.  To try to comprehend God giving up his only son for my sins would not have as much meaning if I used your gender neutral version of the Biible.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_6KFQZYWJN67HI3AJET7HOMV5N4 WilliamC

    As long as you “keep score” your marriage is doomed.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GG4CUJGLAM3SRSWUGDOUHBAFKU BecMay

    Prayer works wonders. Also there is nothing wrong with “Lovingly” sitting down WITHOUT the TV on or the kids at bay~~maybe over a coffee after dinner & just let him know that you would love to hear this this or this. Just let him know how it “makes YOU FEEL” when he compliments you or when he doesn’t. That when you put in effort, it would be nice to have it recognized. It is when we get all snippy, bitey & resentful that things go south. Same as when they are that way with us.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GG4CUJGLAM3SRSWUGDOUHBAFKU BecMay

    Just shared this with all my FB GirlyFriends~~as we can all use a goood brush up every once in a while!! Thanks so much for your labors as they are greatly appreciated. Earlier this year I celebrated 20 yrs with the love of my life~~My Hubby Stephen & I can say that our biggest strength is our appreciation for one another & the acknowledgement of how blessed we are to have one another. I will also say, it has not always been this way. I am the yaky one & he is quite & stoic. At some point I was tired of not hearing him talk & to my surprise….he was tired of not hearing what he needed from me. Yet through learning to listen & to verbal appreciate one another~~we are both still married to our BEST friends~~US!!!

  • Alisha Hughes

    Good stuff Mark!!

  • Submissive_by_choice

    NOT arguing your point (or not meaning to), but my understanding is that even when two horses are pulling a cart, there is often one that ‘leads’ even though they are pulling it together.  I think I read it one of the posts above, that the husband is the ‘final’ decision maker in the event of a conflict (of course, still considering his wife’s input).  

  • Muyoka Agnes

    Just for the fact you have to do it to strengthen your marriage.

  • Muyoka Agnes

    there are many but most of them assume to the best out of them to their wives.thanks God bless you.

  • anonymous

    Its actually good to “submit one to another”; mutual submission if you will,  I think your marriage sounds very Biblical!

  • Amy

    “ The traditions we associate with the Ephesians verses are societal, not biblical.”  a resounding amen over here.  

  • amy

    I know people will split hairs on this comment, which is why I’m liking it.  I know what you mean… 50/50 means, both people make a mutual effort.  And that takes 100% of both of us.  ;) 

  • anonymous

    Without knowing you, it really does sound like he’s being selfish.  Whether he realizes how much, or how your attitude towards him is, I have no idea, but I’ve lived with selfishness all my marriage, and understand, I think.  I still try to pinpoint like a laser, my compliments on what he DOES do right.  I can honestly only compliment 4,5,8,and 9.  But I try to voice those louder and more often than problems with the others.  Even in the middle of frustration and despair, I know my constant venting over disappointments will further distance him from us.  I try to “showcase” the good, exaggerate if you will almost.. “catch him doing good” and after honest discussion of my concerns, he knows where I stand with my extreme disappointments.  Its the same as if you had a child who was acting irresponsibly.  You still LOVE them, but you’re not happy with everything.  Sometimes you need to make a big deal of what they ARE doing right.  If counseling won’t help, just pray and have patience.  I couldn’t give this advice, unless I’d painfully endured it myself.  Much love and good wishes going your way!  And pray more about you than him.  I find ME a lot easier to change and learn to live with a rock in my shoe than to change him or get rid of the “rock”.    God can make pearls of wisdom out of our irritations.  

  • Nubeblanca77

    Thanks!!!

    I have been a lot calmer since I wrote this, I started to do more things outside the house, I join a knitting group and we meet every other Saturday, and we have also gone to some crafting/sewing/knitting/quilting fairs and studio tours, doing something on the weekends instead of waiting for him has helped me alot.  He has also started to try harder on helping around, my only thing I really ask him to have done is have the bed made, the rest will be done when we get to it and this has also helped a ton.  He has notice that I have been calmer and things have been going a lot smoother this past 3 month is really nice!

  • Dgass

    The ones looking to do things better or please god in our marriages.  This article is point on.

  • Phil

    This one does.

    And it’s a good list in particular because it can give men a list to aspire to. I can improve in any of those areas and try to earn the compliments rather than just expect them.

  • Doodiemack

    How about if your wife says these things with sarcausm….

  • Mr. First Last

    Wow, these are great. As a man, I’d give both my arms to hear any one of the first 7, and either arm to hear any of the last 3. Looking fwd to what women want to hear!