10 Ways to Push Your Spouse Away
1. Computer Time
Posting, commenting, shopping, gaming, chatting, emailing, downloading, blogging, reading, researching—there are a ton of things to do on the computer. Much of it is good, but too much of a good thing can be bad sometimes, especially when it takes priority over spending time with your spouse.
For many, watching television is their “default mode.” Grabbing the remote is almost habitual. Television is one of the greatest time bandits there is—it steals valuable time from you and your spouse and adds little or nothing to your relationship. Sure, sit down and watch your favorite family show together every week, but then turn off the tube. Better yet, agree with your spouse to keep the television off for one week and spend that time together instead. It may just transform your marriage.
3. Phone Conversations and Texting
Cell phones allow us to get a lot of work done during our commute to and from work, driving to and from meetings, waiting for appointments, and on trips. There is a time and place for everything, however. There are also times and places when we should unglue the phone from our ear and our fingers. Meal time with the family, couch time with your husband, date nights with your wife are all great opportunities to give the one you love one of the greatest gift you have—your undivided time.
“I’m really busy right now.” Most of us have probably said those words recently. It’s probably true. Our calendars are simply filled to the brim. Sure, there are probably some things on your schedule that you really can’t practically control, but there are many things that you can control. Remember this: Your busy schedule, plus your spouse’s busy schedule equals missed opportunities to enjoy life and each other. So, start saying “No.” to more things outside the home, and say “Yes.” to more things inside. Set a date night each week with your spouse to spend one-on-one time together.
5. Quiet-less House
Noise can be a distraction to intimacy in relationships. The phone ringing, the television talking, video games blasting, the iPod playing can all create unrest in a home. It’s so important to make your home a haven and a place of peace for you and your spouse. So make sure that there are curfews on electronics in your home, not only for your kids, but for you and your spouse as well.
Cleaning the house, working, watching sports, eating, or even exercising are all good things. If, however, they become idols in your life, your relationship with your spouse may very well suffer. Make sure your relationship with your spouse is a top priority.
7. The Tongue
The tongue can praise and the tongue can put down. Too often, couples use this small part of the body as a weapon that emotionally wounds and sometimes scars for life. Decide today to use your tongue for healing, not to hurt.
8. The Body.
When you and your spouse got married, you became “one flesh.” You were designed to enjoy one another emotionally and physically. Sexual intimacy is a wonderful gift and should not be withheld as punishment or used to manipulate your spouse.
57% of couples cite money issues as the number one reason behind their divorce. Unbridled spending and debt can cause huge problems in a marriage. Start a budget. Don’t spend more than you’ve got.
10. Keeping a List
Do you keep a constant running tab in your mind of how your spouse has hurt you and failed you? It’s hard to let the hurts go. If not dealt with, that list of wrongs will eventually become a list of resentments, moving then from bitterness, and then to anger. Seek forgiveness and grant forgiveness to your spouse.