July 26, 2010 Posted By: Mark Merrill

Dating Monkey Business

A dreaded part in every parent’s life is when their children start dating.  The questions start, and it quickly turns into an interrogation:

“Who is this girl you are going to pick up?”

“Where did you meet this boy?”

“Do you really think this will be a lasting relationship?  Let’s just save your time, and don’t go.”

The hardest part of being a parent to dating teens is that we have to let our soon to be grown children make these decisions on their own.  We have to hope that we have instilled good moral values, so that in those character defining moments (when we aren’t around), our children will make the right decisions.  The good news is that when we can’t be there, we’ve always got the trusty Trunk Monkey to keep things in order on date night!

View Comments to “Dating Monkey Business”

  1. Judyswanson says:

    very cute! Too bad they aren't in every car1

  2. Sandra Hatton says:

    Where can I hire Trunk Monkey??

  3. Katiealec says:

    Stupid. How about some real advice instead of making light of a difficult situation.

  4. Gary says:

    You missed the boat on this one Mark. This is not even funny much less the energy I want around my daughter when we are working on early dating. My efforts started when I first held my little girl in the hospital minutes after birth. Now I let her know I am paying close attention and guide/trust her to make the right choice. I also know that they may not always be the choices I would make. This makes sense. I am a 59 year old father and she is a fifteen year old girl.

  5. Blewis says:

    I too, stopped work to hopefully get some real advice only to see and old joke.

  6. Mark Merrill says:

    So true, this is a serious topic. We actually have spoken about this topic numerous times in previous Family Minutes, but decided to be a little more light-hearted with this resource. Please feel free to check out the link below for some additional information on this topic: http://www.familyminute.com/article/the-dating-.... You can also read my blog entry from July 12, 2010 titled “So, you're my daughter's date?” and get some additional advice.

  7. familyfirstcomments says:

    “Approve”

  8. Mark Merrill says:

    So true, this is a serious topic. We actually have spoken about this topic numerous times on previous Family Minutes, but decided to be a little more light-hearted with this resource. Please feel free to check out the link before for some additional information on this topic: http://www.familyminute.com/article/the-dating-.... You can also read my blog entry for July 12, 2010 titled “So, you're my daughter's date?” and get some additional advice.

  9. Vin says:

    I wish new of the Family Minuete web site when my daughter was 16. Because when i was married my wife thought I was too tough on the boys, didnt think i should ask too many questions and daughter was too embarrassed so. Now that she is 21 and dating someone who is twice her age, divorced with kids and is still living in her apartment! The only blessing is she took a summer job far from home What can I do? Please HELP! I have forwarded all family and friends your website and they love you and Tony!

  10. Dale Harris says:

    Perhaps a little levity is necessary in life so long as one's true opinion is understood. Mark, I know that this is a serious issue to you, and I appreciate all the years of advice you've offered. Be well and continue to have a sense of humor.

  11. mimi says:

    this is a hoot—of course it is a serious topic and we take it seriously in our family—but laughter has its place too — my kids will love this and it will give us another jumping off place to talk —- I plan to show it to them and then say something like since we don't have a trunk monkey . . . how would you handle this situation . . . what perimeters do you place around yourself to keep from being in a vulnerable place . . . laughter is a great place to start a serious subject. thanks Mark!

  12. Stephmullet says:

    got a laugh out of the video, but it's the only laugh I've had in the last year since my son started seeing this girl we disapprove of in every way. We intercepted a text from her to him, telling him that he was not as aggressive as she would like him to be. Wow, that was great first impression! Her parents do not wish to communicate w/ us and takes him outside of any boundary we have set. We have banned him to communicate w/ her on his phone, email, facebook. He has had most of his privelages taken away, just so we can make sure she's not in the picture. It's been very unfair for him and it's going a little over a year now. Her parents let her attempt to call him from their phones, so we had to have their numbers blocked too. It's been a total nightmare. She's even written letters to him telling him she wished she was pregnant. She is 16 and he just turned 17. We are so stuck and have been waiting on God.

  13. Mark Merrill says:

    Dale, thanks for your kind words. And I do hope you all know my true opinion. Again, my July 12, 2010 blog post says it all. I take my children's training and relationships so seriously that I interview the young men or young ladies, as the case may be, who they want to spend time with. If anyone needs more information on this topic, just give me a shout and I put together more for you!

  14. momjordi says:

    I enjoy the humor of the video. My 16 year old dughter is in the midst of her first real boy/girl relationship. I am a single mother, and mostly they are not allowed to be alone. Neither of them has a car, so I am the one who takes them where they go. I caught them getting to intimate with their kissing, and now they are only allowed to hold hands. They are not allowed to spend time at his house because the first time I allowed it, she came home with a hickey. I have had serious talks with both of them about how hormones get quickly out of control. They want to respect me and they want to serve the LORD, and yet when the petting gets heavy, those are not the things that are first on their minds, so it is my job to make sure it never gets to that point. I really like her boyfriend, and he seems to listen to me when I have talks with them. The two of them spend most of their time together in my presence and for now, I won't have it any other way. That said, I try to let them have as much time as I can within reason. I have made myself extremely clear about the consequences I will inflict should they break the rules because no matter how I try, they will end up finding an opportunity to be alone. I believe I've made myself clear, and hopefully instilled a little fear, so that they will remain pure long enough to mature to a place where they will be able choose purity from a spiritual standpoint.

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