#076: Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters with Meg Meeker (Podcast – Part 2)

strong fathers

Recently, I had Dr. Meg Meeker in to discuss her book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know. We discussed 3 secrets, and we had such a great time. So I invited her back to go through three more!

A man will face many challenges in his lifetime. But one of his biggest challenges will be building a strong relationship with his daughter. [Tweet This] With more and more research revealing the incredible influence a dad has over his little girl, the time to build that relationship is now. So today we’ll be discussing another 3 secrets to having a healthy father-daughter relationship.

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Discussion Recap 

3 Secrets Every Father Should Know:

  1. Protect her, defend her. (Use a shotgun if necessary.)
  2. Be the man you want her to marry.
  3. Teach her who God is.

Episode Resources 

To purchase a copy of Dr. Meeker’s book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, click here.

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  • Mandy Grad

    I’m 55 and the oldest child of my parents. They had five daughters, no sons. My father was too busy with his own life to build a relationship with any of us while growing up. He was married to our mother and he slept at home, but he was never there literally or figuratively. He was either at work or involved in a hobby like sports participation and attending sporting events, fishing, his side business, etc. He did a good job providing for us. We were not hungry, had a nice home and full bellies. But he never showed us love or attention. We were all afraid of him as children. He was quick to anger, didn’t like a lot of noise when he was home and we certainly knew our place in the hierarchy. We also didn’t dare state our opinions because (at least in front of him) we had to agree with his opinions and tow the family line.
    None of us really *know* him as adults. There is a lot of pain and hurt and yes, anger. As I mentioned, he was quick to anger all those years we were growing up. And we were very fearful of it and him. I was literally in my early 30s before my fear of him subsided. Ridiculous to state and unless you grew up with someone like him, it’s difficult to believe. But it’s true. As an adult, I’ve come to realize I was the daughter of anger. Why does all of this still bother me at 55? I can’t answer it in my own head let alone try to explain it here. I’m a mother and a grandmother, but I still am crushed in my heart over my father and my childhood when I allow myself to think of it, which is definitely not often, but it’s always at the surface and any trigger, like this blog, can bring it all back quickly. The tears never fail to fall.
    I so agree with the three points above, especially a father defending his daughters in any way necessary. I never felt loved, appreciated, enjoyed or defended, even in the little things. He hasn’t changed at all…although his temper has mellowed some. Over the years my sisters and I have attempted to talk to him about our feelings regarding general topics, and once in a blue moon we’ve tried to bring up our relationship with him. His one and only (and famous within the family) response is, “It’s unfortunate you feel that way.” That’s literally his response to anything we say. And trust me, we’ve only lightly broached the subject over the years. He remains closed and hard and not open to the fact he made any mistakes with us or hurt us deeply. His position remains that his only role was to be a good provider and did his part. The rest, in his opinion, was up to our mother.
    It would be beside the point to list all the ways the lack of a father’s love, time and attention has hurt the five of us or brought about situations and experiences that were hurtful as children and adults, but it would be pointless and bore the reader. I seldom comment on blogs, but I felt like I wanted to today. I couldn’t agree with Dr. Meeker more about a father’s role and place in his daughter’s life. My sisters and I all suffer in small and large ways due to an absent father. The ramifications last a lifetime, at least they have with the five of us.

  • Michael Green

    I’m so glad to hear the doctor point out how moms need to sometimes take a backseat when fathers are setting boundaries for dating our daughters. My baby girl is my heart and I will always defend her,

  • M_Bo

    Thank you for sharing that and being open about your past. It always helps me more to here these things from people that have lived them versus a doctor that has been trained in them.

  • Mandy, thank you for sharing. As a mother and grandmother you can now help your husband and children to be intentional with their families since their presence is so needed. Praying for you.

  • Indeed, Michael thank you for your response.